Confusion
by Burning-Petals
Summary: Roppi just didn't think death would be so confusing. Though it's what happens after that really bothers Roppi. " I can't tell anymore, it's all starting to blur. There's one thing for sure I know, the liquid spilling from me is hot, invigorating."
1. Promised

**Okay so this came to my head and I couldn't get it out. So I wrote it. It's a little sporadic but that's the way I want it to be, I mean Roppi isn't going to exactly think straight while he's dying. I hope you guys get it...**

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The bathroom floor was cold, I could feel it through my jeans. Or maybe I'm the one cold? I can't tell anymore, it's all starting to blur. There's one thing for sure I know, the liquid spilling from me is hot, invigorating.

I smile softly at this feeling. I've been searching for it for what seems like forever. Why I haven't done this sooner, I can't remember...the blonde...my blonde...

It hits me, almost like an electric shock through the heart. I forgot all about my blonde. I promised him I'd be here when he came home...promised...

I'm positive I'm moving, maybe it's just me. Though the vision I have left tells me it's true. I feel like I'm floating, feet off the ground. How?

My shoulder starts to feel wet. It makes no sense...

"R-roppi, It's o-okay. It will be, I-I promise." my eyebrows knot in confusion. I must be hallucinating, he's at work, late shift.

My head falls on something strong, something familiar. I breathe in slowly, it's getting difficult, though I notice it. I feel so relaxed, that smell. It's one I'm so used to. It's his.

Wet kisses hit my ear and occasionally my temple. It's such a strange show of affection...why is this happening?

I haven't stopped moving, it's an almost unnoticeable jostle...no I'm moving fast? I can't tell anymore...I'm scared...

I'm scared.

A fabric becomes known under my hand. Has it always been there? With the strength I have left, I clench it. Despite everything it comforts me.

It's all too normal. I've done this before...

I'm tired. Sleep is calling me and it sings so sweetly. I almost can't resist it, but there's another voice...it's begging me not to...

Soon the jostling stops, I'm still. Am I back in the bathroom? Did I even leave? Hallucinating is exhausting.

My eye is forced open. There's a light...it's so annoying... I can't stop myself from following it when it moves. Soon I'm left alone.

I feel my hair move. Air? No, it's more like stroking me. Maybe they want me to sleep too. But the voice, it won't stop begging.

The soothing movements stop. I'm left alone again...I've always been alone...except for...

My blonde. Where's my blonde?

That's my last thought before I black out.

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**So here's my dilemma, I'm not sure if I want this to be a one-shot or an actual story. I've decided if I get at least 5 reviews telling me they want it as a story, then I'll continue it. If I don't, then it'll stay a one-shot. And if you do decide you want it as a story, it would be awesome if you tell me something you would see this story about. I kinda have a story plot but help is always appreciated!**


	2. Be Alright

**So the people have spoken! This'll be a multi-chapter story. I thought I'd write the last chapter with Tsuki's POV, that way it makes more sense than Roppi's.**

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My late shifts are never really late shifts, they shouldbe classified as early shift or all nighters. For a "late" shift I'd have to stay at the post office most of the night, organizing mail, chugging coffee, and around 5 or 6 delivering mail.

Most of the time it doesn't bother me, I like seeing the city when almost no one is around. The tall buildings standing amongst the sky and fog is priceless. Though what I could do without is seeing more the city then expected, I frequently get lost. Although for almost the whole night, I'm worrying about Roppi.

He has the bad habit of staying up at our small shared apartment waiting for me. Usually I'll find Roppi asleep on the couch with a book in his hand, or he'll get bored and start walking around the city, aimlessly. We've even bumped into one another at one point. He says it's calming, gives him time to think about things.

Roppi still refuses to tell me what he thinks about.

Luckily I got done earlier, not that much of mail, meaning I can head home and sleep. Since we don't live that far from the post office, it doesn't take me long to get home. Though a seemingly empty apartment is what I didn't expect.

"R-roppi?" I call out, my usual stammer making an appearance. I walk to the fridge when I don't get an answer, looking for a note saying he went for a walk. I check for one, despite the fact I made him promise that he'll stay home and sleep.

But no note hung up.

I tell my nerves to calm down. He's probably sleeping I repeat, over and over in my head. Roppi's always teases me I'm too much of a worrywart.

I walk over to our bedroom, stopping when I hear a squish. I stepped on something wet, and my sock is now colored red. I look down and stare at the floor in horror.

Blood.

Quickly, I open the bathroom and a variety of feelings wash over me at once. Roppi is sitting on the floor of the bathroom, resting by the bathtub, his sleeves rolled up to reveal a cut running up his arm.

I got down on my knees, not even paying attention to the stains it was making, my mind far from it. I racked my brain for what would be the right thing to do, I've only had to do this once before.

It was in college, Roppi and I were room mates. He had done this before, but I just ran to Shinra next store. What did he do? I hit my head trying to remember.

A pulse!

A franticly move, pressing my fingers to a spot on his neck, just under his jaw, hoping this is right. My eyes widen a little when I feel a faint throbbing. I close my eyes trying to thinks straight.

I grab gauze from under the sink and wrap up the cut. It's quick and sloppy, but it has to at least make it to Shinra's. It has to. I need it to.

I _need_ him to.

I pick him up, being as careful as I can, holding him like a child. He moves, mumbling something I can't hear.

"R-roppi, it's o-okay. It will be, I-I promise." that's the only thing I can think of it say. His eyebrows scrunch together, and he moves slightly again. This makes me move faster.

Slowly I stand up, concerned on how light he is. Has Roppi always been so easy to carry? I go over to where my shoes are, ignoring the feeling of my red soaked socks as I put on my shoes.

The whole way to Shinra's I run, slowing down only to make sure Roppi is still okay. Giving him kisses on the side of his face I can reach. I know if he were more conscious, he'd be complaining about it, but it makes me feel better. Feeling his warmth and the fact that he still is warm.

Halfway I feel him weakly grab onto the back of my vest. I ran faster, thanking the fact that it's still early and no one is on the streets. Then I feel him relax and it scares me.

"R-roppi, you can't..." my whimper dies down, I don't want to think about it, so I hold him tighter. Roppi lifts his head a centimeter of my shoulder, before it drops back down. Please be okay.

_Please._

At Shinra's I knock once and he opens the door. The moment he see's Roppi he goes into a doctor mode. Shinra shows me to a room that's set up for patients. He doesn't question me, or what happened to Roppi. He probably already guessed. I'm glad he didn't ask too, I wouldn't know how to answer him.

After I put Roppi on the medical bed, Shinra takes a flashlight out of his pocket. He opens Roppi's eye and flashes it in his eye. We see it constrict, and follow Shinra's movement when he makes sure Roppi is still conscious.

Shinra sighs of relief when he finds out Roppi is still alive, but we both know he won't stay that way if we just stand here. Shinra orders Celty to get some blood bags, so he can replace the already lost blood.

The headless woman comes back in with everything Shinra needs. The underground doctor hooks everything up to Roppi. I watch with tearful eyes, noticing for the first time I've been crying. I can only brush his hair out of his face for a second or two before Celty pushes me out the room, shoving her phone in my face.

**[Tsuki, you shouldn't be in here. Wait outside.]** before I can protest, the door is shut in my face. I feel useless. There's nothing I can do, it's all about what Shinra and Celty can do for Roppi.

I'm _useless_.

**VVVVVVVVVV**

I don't know how long I've been sitting on their couch, crying over Roppi, when Celty sits next to me. She shows me her phone, telling me Roppi is stable but needs rest.

I feel my heart slow down, I can breath again.

"C-can I see him?" I ask quietly, my eyes begging. She types a yes, and I get up. I'm excited to see that Roppi will be alright. When I get to the door of the patient room, it opens, Shinra stepping out.

"He's sleeping, and you need to let him. But Roppi's going to do just fine, Tsuki. He just lost a lot of blood." Shinra says trying to make me feel better. I nod fast, I just want to see him. I need this reassurance.

Shinra moves out of my way and let's me see him. Roppi is laying on the bed, peacefully sleeping despite the wires attached to him. I close the door before walking up to the bed, pulling a chair as close as possible. I grab Roppi's hand. He's okay.

Roppi's okay.

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**I'm not too sure how I feel about I wrote Tsuki, he seems OOC. If he is tell me how I can improve, though this'll probably be more in Roppi's POV.**

**I hope you guys liked this! Please review :}**


	3. Until Morning

**Lookie who is back with another update!**

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My eyes fluttered open, a headache already forming. The room looks familiar but I can't quite place it. There's a constant beeping noise, it's so annoying. I start to sit up, though I do it slowly when I feel something tug as I do so.

I look around and instantly know where I am. Shinra's. Looking around, I see the machines I'm attached to, making sure I'm alive. I could do without the constant beeping of the heart monitor. I want to turn it off, but I know it would cause too much of a commotion.

A soft groan brings my attention to the man sleeping on a chair but his head on the bed.

I brush my fingers lightly across his hair, weary of waking him up. I can see his face is red and puffy from crying, even through the darkness. His glasses were still on him, crooked and slightly bended from the pressure put on them.

I try to remove his glasses slowly, knowing it's bad for him to sleep with them on. I was able to take off his glasses and put it on the night stand next to the bed, when he started to move. I curse silently, wishing he stayed sleeping.

"R-roppi?" Tsuki's voice is rough from sleep, he squinted without his glasses. It's still so strange to see him without them.

"Hey." I say quietly, smiling softly. Please go back to bed, I don't want to talk about it. I want him to go back to bed, he looked so peaceful.

Tsuki doesn't respond. The only sound in the room is the constant beeping sound of the heart monitor and him grabbing and putting his glasses back on. As much as I try, I can't get myself to look him in the eyes. I want to though.

But I can't. I just can't.

I shift under his watchful gaze, it's never affected me this much. I'm afraid of what he's thinking. Is he mad? Sad? What's going on in Tsuki's mind?

I'm too busy looking at the bed sheet that I jump when Tsuki holds my hand, giving a like squeeze of encouragement. He knows what I'm thinking, doesn't he? Tsuki always seems to know everything.

"How do y-you feel?" my eyes flicker up for a moment, dull red eyes full of love, care, and other feelings I don't recognize stare back. A wave of guilt hits me, though I know it's more than just guilt.

"Fine." I feel like I've been punched. His look of disappointment is too painful. Whether it's directed at me or my answer doesn't matter, it still hurts.

I just want Tsuki to sleep. I just want to be left alone for a little longer. Until morning, please. Please.

"O-oh, okay. Sh-shinra said you n-need to sleep. So g-get some re-rest." he sounds completely unconvinced by my answer but doesn't say anything. Tsuki moves to situate himself on the chair better. It's easy for me to tell it's uncomfortable.

"Tsuki, you can just sleep with me on the bed." I offer, it's not like we share a bed every night or anything. He looks unsure, probably afraid I'll break in two. Though he's also contemplating it, I can tell with the way he's looking away, like it's a crime he wants to say yes.

"Tsuki." I press on, moving over to give him room, waiting for him to get on. I keep telling myself it's because the chairs uncomfortable and it's rude to make him sleep on it. Although, if I'm truly honest with myself, it's because it's difficult to sleep without him, I like having him close, I feel safe with Tsuki.

Reluctantly he gets up, minding the wires as he lays down next to me. He sighs in content when I lay down too, an arm bringing me close to his side. Burying my face in his chest I hear a good night. I mumble one of my own.

His arm tightens, making sure I'm still here. Unlike earlier, I know what he's thinking. Doubting reality, he hopes this is real, not a dream of me with him. Tsuki's doesn't want to wake up with the thought of me not being here tomorrow. Hoping that I'm not dead and this isn't fake.

I can't say I'm hoping the same thing.

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**You know when I write a story it's usually based off songs, and I noticed I haven't told you about any with this one. Usually it's just one-shots, but this turned to a story and now the chapters are based off songs. I'm not going to put the lyrics or anything but from now on I'll probably tell you what song the chapter was based off.**

**And this chapter was No Light No Light by Florence and the Machine. They are my favorite band :} **

**Reviews are always loved. Hoped you liked this chapter(I felt it was lacking)**


	4. Too Much

**Ooo the good stuff is starting guys(more like next chapter but whatever). **

**Song of the chapter: Conspiracy by Paramore**

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_"Can I take you somewhere?" A hushed voice whispers, his breath against my face. His eyes pierce into me, seeing every part of me._

_"Anywhere. Anywhere but home." I say, my voice just as quiet. He look away, but his gaze flickers back to me. Even through the dark, they shine bright, luring me._

_I feel his lips linger against mine. He wants to, I know, his eyes tell me so. Our breath mix together, a little more pressure and it would be a kiss._

_Just as his lips were there, they're gone. And so is he._

**VVVVVVVVVVV**

When morning came I was left alone in the room. I would of freaked out if I wasn't also relieved. That quickly goes away and the door opens, Tsuki walking back in with some food.

"G-good morning." he smiles weakly, stumbling slightly to get to the bed. He takes a sit in the chair pushed close to the bed. I sit up, my arm stinging from the movement.

"I th-thought I'd bring y-you some food." slowly he places the food in my lap. It's a simple breakfast, an egg and a piece of toast. It's nice gesture but I don't think my stomach can handle anything but air at the moment.

"Thanks" I mutter, though I don't make a move to eat it. Tsuki's looking at me again, trying to figure something out. When he looks away, I can only guess he didn't get his answer.

We both stare at the food after that, Tsuki expected me to make a move to eat it and I hoped it would disappear. I sneak a glance at Tsuki, his scarf gently placed high up his neck, mouth practically covered, his glasses slightly crooked and his eyes out in space.

Our silence was broken by a door opening, Shinra following soon after.

"Good morning! I wanted to check on Roppi and see how he was doing." Shinra's usual happy personality drowned out the gloom coming in. I stiffened a little at the thought of him making sure I was fine. Tsuki just nodded his head, acknowledging what Shinra said.

"You should probably go to the kitchen Tsuki, seeing as you haven't eaten yet." I quickly turn my head to Tsuki, confused on why he brought me food if he hadn't eaten himself. Though he ignores my look, and gets up, mumbling an okay. He spared me a glance before he left the room, his expression unreadable.

Shinra went straight to work, examining wounds, changing bandaging, and being silent. Throughout the whole check up both Shinra and I stayed quiet, not bothering with talking. Though his expression looked like be was itching to ask questions, but he restraint himself. We knew I'd get my lecture soon enough. Just as Shinra was walking out, Celty was walking in.

"Don't say anything you'd regret." Shinra said knowingly, not just to me but Celty too. With that he walked out, probably to keep Tsuki company.

**[Why would you do that to him?!]** Celty's shadows expanded, moving spastically, in what can only be described in an angry way. All I could do was glare back, not respecting her question with an answer.

Celty and I never really got along. Shinra found this strange, he thought we'd fine something in common, and we did.

Tsuki.

Though that was our problem. While I dated him, Celty had a way of babying him, at least that's how I saw it. She kept him close, and was over-protective, like an older sister or mother.

It pisses me off to no end.

**[Do you know how worried he was?! I can't even believe you!]** She also didn't think I was "good" for Tsuki. Especially with us leaving and coming back unexpectedly last year, I was on her black list.

**[Do you even care!] **she moved closer, shoving her phone in my face. That's when I couldn't take. Like she had a right to judge me!

I couldn't possibly be the only one to remember when she stringed Shinra along, not telling him of her feelings. I doubt she did that because she cared for him.

"Of course I care!" I slapped her stupid phone out of her hand, tired of seeing what she has to say. After the echo of the phone crashing to the ground died, Celty's shadows grew, practically fogging up the whole room. Both of our hands were balled up in fists.

"Are you guys okay?" Shinra walking in, Tsuki following soon after. They probably saw Celty's shadows seeping out from under the door.

"R-roppi, are you a-alright?" with Tsuki's statement, I saw Celty's fist tighten. She was clearly bothered Tsuki still cared, even with what I had done. Tsuki moved to the side of the bed, grabbing my hand. He looked from me to Celty, back to me.

I wondered what Tsuki knew, surely he could tell the tension between Celty and I. It was obvious and Tsuki was no idiot. That's what bothered me the most about Celty's babying. He was a grown adult able to make his own choices, he didn't some headless woman to make them for him. Tsuki could be air-headed at times, but he was much smarter than most think.

Shinra walked over to where Celty's thrown phone was laying, before picking it up and handing it to the headless woman. He grabbed Celty's arm, stroking it with a smile, helping her relax. They walked out of the room, Celty's body is still visibly tense.

"W-what did you sa-say to her?" Tsuki asks, curious as to what started the freak out. An immense feeling of anger washes over me. I grip the sheets tightly under one hand, and my nails dig into Tsuki's hand, making it bleed slightly. I don't see Tsuku make a face of pain though.

"Me?! Me! Like hell it was!" I yell, upset he thinks it's my fault. I rip the wires from my chest, making the heart monitor beep annoyingly. Before Tsuki had time to react, I got off the bed, storming out the room just as Shinra was rushing in. I slip out of the room, ignoring both Tsuki and Shinra.

I bolt to the exit, leaving Shinra's apartment. I go to the elevator, pressing the button with force, hoping if I hit it hard enough it'll come faster. It didn't.

As though it was making fun of me, I watched the number slowly switch up to the correct floor. I'm both upset and happy Tsuki hasn't come out of the apartment. Sighing in relief as the elevator doors open, I hear Shinra's door open and slam close.

Quickly I walk in, pressing the close door's button, practically slamming the button, using the same flawed logic. I watch from the corner of the elevator as Tsuki comes running up after me. Though the doors are already almost close.

I let out another breath of relief, though this one is a little bit too soon.

A hand appears in between the door, signally that someone else was getting on. With the same excruciatingly slow movements, it opened, my blonde appears on the other side of the door.

I sigh. This time I can't even tell if it's of relief or frustration.

"Roppi, you sh-should go back to S-shinra's." Tsuki said, walking in as the door closed. I pushed my body in the corner, wanting to be away from him. The more he came closer, the more I wish I could go through the elevator walls.

He means no harm, but I can't take him close. Please don't come any closer.

Tsuki doesn't stop though, not until he's right in front of me. I feel traped, suffocating from how close he is. Tsuki tenderly stroked my cheek, making me whimper, the care in his eyes are too much.

Though at the same time, they bring me copious amounts of joy. I can't tell which I feel more. Happiness or terror.

The elevator jolts, letting us know that we've reached the bottom floor. Tsuki moves away, getting out before stretching out his hand, accepting that I don't want to be at Shinra's. Hesitantly, I move from the corner, grabbing his hand. We walk out hand in hand, making our to our apartment.

I lean in on his arm, rejoicing in the fact he won't ask questions. Tsuki probably knows I don't want to talk about it. Maybe he already knows why. He always ending up knowing more about me than I do.

Maybe Tsuki will tell me what I need to hear.

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**Reviews are welcomed :}**


	5. Running Home

**Tada, new chappie! This one will probably confuse you a bit, but I swear all will be answered in do time.**

**Chapter song: All Around Me by Flyleaf**

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_It was on a whim. We packed in a night, taking only a few clothes and necessities._

_He stood in the middle of our room, his good-bye. I watched from the doorway, a bag in my hands, admiring his frame._

_"You don't have to do this." I say, looking down, afraid he'll change his mind. I know how he feels about leaving._

_"No. I have too." his voice strong, it always is but never like this. He looks to me and smiles, a reassurance that he wants to do this._

_"You ready then?" I ask and he walks over to me. Gives me a kiss before nodding and walking past me. At first I think he's being cold before I see him picking up his things. Then walks back to me, giving me a hand to hold as we walk out the door._

_We left and never looked back._

**VVVVVVVVVV**

It had been weeks since I ran out of Shinra's apartment and Tsuki followed. And this night started like many others, Tsuki woke up in a sheet of sweat over him, breathing heavily from a nightmare. I could tell before he woke me up with his crying.

I felt him sit up, this is the fifth time this week he's woke up from a nightmare. They happen more often now. It always bothers me when he has one, I never know what do to. Does he want me to know about them or should I ignore all that and comfort him?

I always find myself choosing the latter.

Before Tsuki can lay down and pull me close, I sit up, turning to him. His eyes widen, shocked that I'm awake, a blush then forming. I probably would have laughed if it weren't for the fact he was still crying.

Silently, I move into his lap, humming at the heat that radiates off of him and on to me. Instantly his arms wrap around me, being close to me always comforts him. I loosely drape my arms over his shoulders.

"I'm here." I coo, my words having more than one meaning. His breathing slows down and so does his heart beating against mine.

I feel myself calming down too.

After a while of being in that position, I feel his lips linger around my neck and a hand slides up my night shirt. Kisses trail up my neck as the hand gets higher and higher. I shudder, he wants to be as close to me as possible.

And like every night he wants to be, I let him.

**VVVVVVVVVVVV**

I can't breath, I'm suffocating. I turn over in my sleepy haze, and sit up, trying not to wake up Tsuki. I look behind me to where he's sleeping soundlessly, his hair disheveled, an arm stretched out from here he was holding me, and his face half hidden amoungst the pillows.

I can't breath again as I look at him. I stand up, quickly searching for clothes. I have to go. I have to.

I go to our dresser and grab clothes, putting them on as fast as possible. It doesn't take long until I'm out of the apartment.

I take deep breathes, trying to regulate my heart. That feeling, I can't stand it. It's so strange, yet so appealing.

I don't want to think about it, so my solution? Run

The streets were dark minus the street lamps. I didn't have a place I wanted to go. Or maybe I did? Either way I continued to go in different directions in the hopes of getting lost.

I went ways I haven't gone before. Leaving what I knew so well, looking for things unknown.

Accepting them.

I ignored the pain I felt whether it was my body or my heart. I focused on running, using it to clear my mind.

No more worry. No more thinking about how I truly am bad for Tsuki. How I don't seem to be making his life better or easier like someone special should. No more, I refuse to think about that.

I wish I could actually get that out of my head.

After my lungs couldn't take it and the same suffocating feeling came back, I stopped. I stared at the building in front of me in shock and confusion.

I walked into the building, laughing darkly since this was the same building I was running from.

I cursed the fact that I didn't have Tsuki's natural born talent of getting lost easier, I opened the door. Turning back from closing it, I see a tall figure in the darkness.

"Wh-where did you go?" Tsuki asked from our door way, rubbing his eyes childishly. I walk to the kitchen, ignoring him because I'm upset at my feet.

"Roppi, w-why did you le-leave?" he questions, following me to the kitchen. My eyebrows knot, I don't like where this is going.

I was going to continue to ignore him, until I saw his mouth open again. I has no intention of hearing more from him.

"What? Afraid I was going to run off like we did?" I scoff, pretending like that wasn't my plan. It takes me a moment to realize what I did.

I did it. I gave myself away. But I did so much more.

He looks down, like he's about to be hit. Tsuki opens his mouth, but it shuts close. I watch with a heavy heart as his eyes shut, tightly closed.

"Tsuki, I-" I stop when he turns around, now ignoring me. I go into the bedroom, where he's at, in the hopes of bandaging up my low blow.

I watch him lay down, facing away from me. I climb up on the bed, laying next to Tsuki, forcing him to see me. Before he can turn, I hold his face between my hands, with a gentle strength.

"Please don't be upset. You...I...Just know, I wouldn't leave you like that, or ever. Don't be mad at me please, I didn't-I just...I love you and couldn't-" I blubber, getting interrupted by a sob. Surprisingly from myself.

Tsuki's eyes are a little widen. It's not often when I tell Tsuki I love him, but that's because I always feel he knows. And then again, I feel like he doesn't.

I try to wipe it away, but I'm stopped by Tsuki, who suddenly hugs me. He holds me tight, to the point that I worry he'll break my rib or something.

"I love you too." I hear the whisper by my ear as his heads moves to the crook of my neck. I can't do much but wrap my arms around him, just as tightly as his.

My fingers find his hair and I slowly play with the soft golden locks as sleep takes over my exhausted body.

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**If you** **have any questions or want to say what you think will happen, send them in a review. I wanna see what you guys thought of this chapter. Hope you guys liked it :}**


	6. Stay

**Chapter Song: Surrender by Evanescence**

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_We sat at the bus stop. We knew where we were going, but at the same time it felt like we didn't. It was all so new._

_I clutched my bag tightly, while he sat there, peacefully waiting. Ironic I was the one nervous._

_Suddenly I felt his hand wrap around mine. I snap my head to look at him, he just smiles softly._

_"Relax, everything's fine."_

_I did relax, a full few seconds before the bus came._

**VVVVVVVVVV**

We were avoiding it. Everything. Tsuki's nightmares, my attempt suicide, just everything. Tsuki and I hadn't spoken often, a few words. We've gone the whole day with a good morning and goodnight.

This isn't new, though it's never happened more than a day. Until now of course, it's been a week. It's strange, I can't bring myself to start a conversation. Yet I really want to hear his voice.

The door opens, making me look up from my abandoned book. Tsuki walks in, giving me a small smile, mumbling a hello before walking to the couch with me.

"R-read to me?" he asks suddenly as he sits down beside me. I stare at him, a little wide eyed by his request. His eyes flicker to the book, then land on me again. Asking again, silently this time.

"You can just read it yourself." I inform him, standing up. Though I'm stopped by the hand that grabs my wrist.

"Please." he smiles softly, hoping I'll sit back down. I sigh, sitting next to him, making his smile wider. I struggle to stop on that's beginning to form on my own face.

He rests his head on my shoulder, looking at the book's words sideways. I watch him from the corner of my eyes, not yet reading. His breathing slows as he relaxes, and his eye lids start to look too heavy for him.

"If you're going to fall asleep, there is no point in reading to you." I say matter of factly, as he forces himself to keep his eyes open. Trying to prove he won't fall asleep, even though we both know he will.

I roll my eyes at his childish behavior, he should just go to our room and sleep but I keep my thoughts to myself. I search for the spot I was in my book before I start reading.

"Weary, cold, painful, inexpressibly wretched, and still but half convinced of my invisible quality, I began this new life to which I am committed. I had no refuge, no appliances, no human being in the world in whom I could confide..."

**VVVVVVVVVV**

I jump when I feel a hand wrap around my wrist. I look to Tsuki, whom I believed was sleeping until now. I watch with curious eyes as he brings my wrist to his mouth. Tsuki kisses each of my scars with such delicate care I didn't know he had.

"Will yo-you ever tell me w-why?" he whispers between kisses. I can't look at him, the look in his eyes too strong. I chose to ignore his words, hoping he'll stop.

Why can't we keep avoiding it?

"You ha-hate it here, d-don't you?" I shut my eyes, looking away wasn't enough. I feel his lips against my latest scar, the longest and deadliest.

His soft lips turn rough against my skin and his curious words, struck a nerve. He knows what he's doing, doesn't he? Tsuki knows he's hurting me.

"W-we should go to bed." I suggest quickly, wanting to get away from this conversation. Though I don't move, his hand is still around my wrist and I don't want to move from his warmth.

I'm torn between walking away from him and everything he has to say, or stay and face him as he says it.

"You w-wanted to l-le-eave that b-badly?" his voice becoming weak. I look up at him, I knew where he was going. My eyes panic as his eyes stare at the ground, thinking he got it right.

"Here, Tsuki. I wanted to leave _here_." I can't press anymore how much I wasn't trying to leave him but this city. Tsuki's dull red eyes refuse to move from their spot on the floor, not convinced.

"I just-" I try to reason before he interrupts.

"Stay." my bottom lip quivers, trying to find my answer. I'm not sure I can, it's difficult to be in the same city as many others. I've never really been one for human interaction.

"We can l-leave in a few mon-months, b-but...please..." Tsuki dies down, not wanting to finish. He doesn't want to admit he wants to keep me here with him, to not be alone. That look in Tsuki's eyes clues in on his guilt for asking.

"I will." for Tsuki, I added silently. His head snaps up, no longer speaking to the floor.

"Now let's go to bed." I finally stand up, taking my arm back from his grasp. More than done with this conversation, I walk into out room, hearing Tsuki walk in behind me, closing the door.

After we got dressed in our sleepwear and laid in bed, I couldn't help but think, only I would end up falling in love with a man who loved the city and large buildings. While I want to stay in a small town, away from the crowds of people and the hectic city life.

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**The book quote was from the book "The Invisible Man" by HG Wells. I felt like it applied, even if it was only a little bit.**

**Reviews are welcomed :}**


	7. Kiss Goodbye

**Chapter song: Look To Me by Elissa Franceschi**

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_Tsuki POV_

_I woke up to him nudging me, whispering a get up while doing so. I yawn, sitting up, I give him a confused look when the window tells me the sun has yet to come up._

_"Just get up, I have to show you something" his red eyes shine with wonder, making me get up, wanting to know what's so great._

_He sits in the middle of the bed, waiting on me as I go into a still unfamiliar walk in closet. I hear him sigh because I've taken longer trying to find my clothes with how large the closet is._

_Once we've gotten outside the house, he guides me to the woods just outside of the house. There's something about the woods that bothers me, though that something intrigues him._

_"Just look at it." he whispers in awe once we've made to a clearing, to me it doesn't look like anything special. There's a patch on some purple flowers and grass of different sizes all over, surrounded by tall trees and a dark mist covering the whole thing. He sees something unique that I can't through my fogged glasses._

**VVVVVVVVVVV**

It has been a month and Roppi has gotten worse. We both don't admit and as much as I hate to say it, I've been trying to ignore it. Just the thought of the bandage on his arm upsets me but I do my best to pretend it doesn't exist.

That we're both fine even through it's the exact opposite.

Knowing Roppi, he's probably ignoring it too. Acting to be perfectly ignorant, like he hasn't used the razor for more than it's intended.

I try and remember when he could handle the city life and all its people, when he didn't feel so overwhelmed. Though I can't really think of a time. He could bare it, never could Roppi truly handle it.

Even now, as I stare down at him on a park bench, his face containing disgust for a world I find beautiful.

Roppi looks off at the people walking through the light up streets. It's bright despite the fact that it's night time.

"How do you stand it here?" He asks, it seems like it was suppose to be in his head. I look at him as he looks off to a group of friends at a near by restaurant. They're laughing and for a moment I think he's going to throw up.

"W-why do you st-stay?" I ask quietly, confused on why when it's obviously he doesn't. I pretend like I don't know the reason because I don't want to think about it.

"I can't believe you're asking that." he looks to me, eyes narrows, sounding hurt.

"I just do-don't want to be the r-reason you get w-worse, Roppi." I look away, ashamed that I'm so selfish. We both know I'm the one keeping him here, tethered to the place he hates so much.

"...Are you asking me to leave?" His question puzzles me. Am I? I want him to get better and he can't stay here...but I can't leave. I was only able to leave earlier because I hadn't started my life at the city yet. I have a job now, our apartment, I can't just drop everything as much as I want to.

I don't want him leave if I'm not with him.

"I-I don't know..." I say uncertainly. He has to, we both know that. Though it doesn't matter what I think in the end, does it? I bite my lip, not liking that thought. What if doesn't care if I'm not with him?

Without saying anything he moves closer, leaning against me, resting his head on my shoulder. He doesn't know either. I wrap my arm around him as reassurance. I grip his jacket tightly, it gives me some sort of comfort, that he's here at least for now. I feel him grab a handful of my shirt, as though trying to keep the same feeling.

"I want to go home." he whispers into my shirt. At this point I don't know which one he is talking about. I stay quiet, unable to respond. In the middle of our silence he let's go of my shirt and stands up.

"Come on." He gives me his hand and I take it.

**VVVVVVVVVVV**

I wake up to the bed creaking. Ignoring it, I turn over, only to find I'm in the bed alone. I blink to get used to the darkness, though it takes me a little longer to figure out why everything is still blurry. Grabbing my glasses from the nightstand, I get up to go into the living room.

Roppi's on the couch, head in him hands, as though in pain. I walk over to him, sitting next to him, worried. He looks up at me somberly, his red eyes seem duller. It takes me by surprise when he suddenly hugs me.

"R-roppi?" I'm more worried than before. It's rare that he'll hug me, Roppi has his own ways of showing affection. His grip just tighten around my neck, as though trying to pull me closer.

"A-are you okay?" I run my fingers through his hair, soothing him. We just sit there because he refuses to talk and I'm not forcing him to.

"I-I'm leaving tomorrow." His voice breaks and I freeze. I didn't think he would leave so soon. He starts to move away from me but I stop him, pulling him closer. I bury my face in his neck, it's the only thing I can think to do.

"...Tsuki..." I can't bring myself to let go of him. I nod my head as a response. This time when he starts to move away, I let him. Roppi looks at me sadly and I know I probably have the same expression.

"We should go back to bed." I whisper, getting up, not wanting to talk or think about. Think about how he'll be gone tomorrow.

**VVVVVVVVVVV**

I feel rushed, like I don't have enough time to say goodbye. Roppi promises he'll visit and as it comforts me, I hate that word. Visit. It just reminds me of how much I wish he were staying.

The worst part was the packing. I had to watch and help him, that was all I could do. I had to repeat over and over in my head, this is best for Roppi. He doesn't deserve to be stuck here.

I let out a shaky breath, when he closes the suit case. It's almost like when we left I can't help but think. But it isn't. And that horrible feeling comes back to me. In my chest, like something's missing. Roppi's not even gone yet and I feel the hole in chest.

We walk to the door, just standing there. Neither one of us want to open it, to be without the other. But eventually Roppi reaches out and twists the door knob. He stops halfway and I think my heart stops with it. I let myself think for a moment he's changed his mind, though I know I'm putting myself out there for disappointment.

He doesn't say anything, he just turns to face me better. Roppi pulls me into a kiss, it sends me reeling. But before I can realize what happened next, I'm left alone in front of the door crying.

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**Everything will be explained next chapter, or most of everything.**


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